While I’ll freely admit that what I’m feeling now might be left over from my victory last night, something inside has clearly changed.
I’ve often sat on the sidelines while people I have respect have defined me and intimidated me into not doing what I need to do. For instance, I grew up as a Republican. I did this partly because I saw being a Republican as being manly. While sitting in my car after ditching class in high school, I often listened to Rush Limbaugh. From him, I found a new strength. While finding strength from something your reading, or listening too isn’t normally a bad thing, I was ignoring myself.
As I got older, the social conservatives started gaining a foothold in the Republican Party. While still seeing myself as a Republican, some of the things being talked about on right wing talk shows like Rush, Hannity and Hugh Hewitt didn’t make sense to me. How could I defend the things I was hearing. I wasn’t against gay marraige. I even remember one night, listening to a host on 850 KOA radio make fun of a small child here in Colorado who was in the news because she identified as a female. She was born male, but her parents, after seeking help from psychiatrists, chose to let her transition in elementary school. And the school, thankfully was helping. I don’t remember what exactly “Gunny Bob” said. It was a couple of years ago. But, it was childish and inexcusable. If I had been that child and I had heard the filth coming out of his mouth, I probably wouldn’t leave my room for a month. People like him, have an influence over others. It’s hard for children not to feel like an adult who is powerful enough to have a radio show, isn’t right about what they are saying.
I like listening to podcasts. And recently I tried to subscribe to Mike Rosen’s show, which is also broadcast on 850 KOA in the mornings. I used to listen to him often. One of the first things I heard Mr. Rosen talk about was the recent debate regarding Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. He doesn’t believe gays should be allowed to serve. Mr. Rosen has served in the Army. But, it was a long time ago. I’m not so sure whether he knew any gay people while he served. Probably not. I did. I knew of at least 2 gay men while I was in the Navy. How did I know? They told me. And now, thanks to Facebook, I know of at least one other I didn’t know about then. Back in the 90’s they probably would have been harassed. But, now? I think we’ve moved past it for the most part. Society is in a different place. The troops who are in their first 1-10 years of service reflect where society is currently at. It’s only people who are near retirement that seem to have a problem with gays in the military. Mike Rosen is of that age.
At any rate, what I’m saying is that these people’s views don’t reflect mine. Overall, politics is not something in my field of view these days. I don’t think about it much. And no, I’m not a Democrat.
A couple of years ago, while having lunch with a trans friend, the topic of politics was broached. My friend said that we had very similar views. But, she tended to lean to the left. While my views tend to lean right just a little bit. If you were to label me, I’d probably be a libertarian with a small “l”. On social issues, I’m more liberal. And on fiscal issues, I’m a little more conservative.
What am I saying, now that I’ve written all of these words? Well, I’m comfortable not letting these pundits keep me down anymore. I am me. And I’m not scared to say that. I’m not quite ready to tell everyone I know that I’m transgendered. That’s why I don’t post these blog entries to Facebook. But, I also don’t feel like I’m going to get killed if they find out. If I lose some friendships because of this, so be it. If your going to hate me because of this, I’d hope that you could educate yourself first. But, if you go, you go. I’m not going to get stressed out about it.