I went to support group last night. But, there were only a couple of us who showed up. This was the week where it’s a smaller group anyway. But, that wasn’t reason. There is an event in Denver this weekend called Gold Rush. It’s organized by the Gender Identity Center to bring different speakers together to speak on such topics as surgeries, self acceptance, hormones, etc. My private practice counselor speaks at it every year. Although I’ve never gone, I’ve always known that it’s held in February. After group broke last night, I looked it up on my phone. Turns out it’s being held at a hotel very close to where I used to live. People have asked me before if I will go. But, I had been dealing with social anxiety issues. Showing up at an event such as this would mean my innermost secret would be exposed. I just couldn’t handle that. This one sneaked up on me. I’m not sure I would have gone anyway. It’s kind of expensive. Maybe next year.
Anyway, I found out when we finally were able to get into the meeting room, that our usual moderators were at Gold Rush. So, we had an FTM, who I had met at a prior meeting. And I found out later, he moderates the the FTM group. His wife was there. So, there were a grand total of four of us around this massive table for 90 minutes. I usually do better in smaller groups. But, that usually only holds true if I know most of the people in the room. Thankfully, the other person in the room spoke first. So, it was easier for me to get comfortable. By the time she was done speaking, I was able to ask a few questions and offer a few suggestions. Overall, it was a good experience. I haven’t had a bad experience at these meetings. Just varied levels of good, I suppose. Some are more helpful to me than others. When we were leaving, the moderators wife asked if I was a hugger. I said “sure”. So, we hugged. I don’t have a problem hugging someone. But, I’m not the kind of person who walks around asking for them.
Before the meeting, I found a cheap sandwich shop across the street. I think that will be my Thursday afternoon meal from now on. Beats eating massive burritos from Chipotle. Man, I really need to lose weight.