In the email I sent out and posted here, I detailed my plan to close the Facebook account connected with my male name. So, why is it still open? I’m a little conflicted. Recently, I started wondering what would happen if I kept it open and changed my name there once I’m ready to go full time and be known as Becca. There’s nothing technically keeping me from doing that right now. But, there are (Facebook) friends there who see me on a regular basis who might be confused that I’m online as Becca, but still living as male in real life.
Coworkers: There are current coworkers and former coworkers who still work with the same company, but in a different location. I am not out at work. So, I don’t want to endanger my employment. I foresee a time in the near future when I won’t be working with this company. But, until I do, outing myself to these people isn’t an option. I could defriend people who are still connected to the company. But, there are still at least three really close friends I want to stay in touch with. And you know the way this works. I can see it now. I defriend these people. I think I have them all. But, then they go searching for me. They see Becca (my last name). They also see that we have one mutual friend that I may have missed who may or may not be connected to the company. Word gets back to my work location. Harassment ensues. My hours get cut.
Go ahead and say I’m paranoid. Sometimes, I believe it. But, I’ve heard about and seen too many trans people have problems in the workplace to let my guard down on that. Especially in this economy. I am working on different income possibilities every day. School continues. And there are a number of side projects I’m working on. But, until then, no.
Family. There a number of family members who are friends on facebook. My sister is the only one who has cut me off so far. When it comes to family members, I’d like to take things a little slow and determined. There are cousins who I don’t see really at all in real life. My own father is there. I haven’t talked to him directly about this yet. I don’t know if he reads my twitter anymore. And I have no idea if he reads this blog. I’m a little scared to tell him. We have kind of a distant relationship. We exchange emails on holidays. Other than that, I don’t hear from him as much as I would like. So, when it comes to family I’d like to hold off until I’m much closer to full time.
High School. I really couldn’t care less what they think. But, right now there is a lot of chatter about the upcoming reunion. It’s funny that a good majority of classmates won’t be going. But, a number of them will. While I don’t think this highly of myself, I’m not stupid. There would undoubtedly be chatter.
Counter point: There will be chatter no matter what. And like I said, I don’t care what the vast majority of these people think of me.
Navy Friends: While I still talk regularly with a number of them, coming out to this group doesn’t bother me. I was on the commissioning crew of a somewhat famous Aegis Cruiser. And there is a reunion being planned for the summer of 2013. While I would love to go walk the decks of the ship one last time, being ostracized by this group has little bearing on my daily life.
I think it comes down to this. I will change my name on Facebook when I am no longer working for this company AND ready to go full time. In the mean time I will continue to push myself in that direction. There are things I need to work on. Hormones will not do everything for me.