Save Me, San Francisco?

Last week, while speaking with a gay friend I’ve known since my age group swimming days, he offered to come out here and help me move to San Francisco. While it was a very generous offer. I’m not sure I’m ready for such an extreme move.

We had been talking about how I was afraid to drop the male facebook account. I feel like I just can’t let go. And I said that, even though my social anxiety was under control, I still feared death from people who don’t like T people. I’ve been told it’s an irrational fear. No one I’ve known personally has died at the hands of another. I just don’t know how to transition with a face like this. He said that San Francisco is more accepting. Maybe. But, there are also good reasons to stay here for the time being.

I know one transwoman who moved to the Bay Area after college for the explicit purpose to transition. I’ve spoken with her about this before. From what I remember, she mentioned that overall, people are more accepting. But, trans people are also easier to spot since there are so many of them. It’s also not a place you want to move to without a plan. It’s a very expensive place to live. If you don’t have a job and some money saved, why would you move?

Reasons to stay:

1. I’m going to school

2. As much I might like to put some distance between my sister and I for the time being, my family is here. They have been incredibly supportive.

3. If I wait until I get my degree, my job prospects increase.

4. I have friends here.

5. It’s easier to ride a single speed in Denver than it is in San Francisco.

Ok. That fifth one might not be a legitimate reason. But, I really don’t think the benefits of moving outweigh the risks. I brought up the subject with my mom yesterday while I was visiting her. I’m not sure it was a good idea to do so. She cried a little. She’s worried that my depression would be worse if I was in a place where I didn’t know anyone. She might be right. But, I have been finding it easier to talk to people. I said that it might be easier for the family if I wasn’t so close given how my sister has decided to handle this whole thing. Upon hearing this, she was adament that I should not leave because it would be easier on others. She said she expressed hope that my sister would soften her stance eventually. I don’t know if I’m as hopeful as she is.

I guess it doesn’t matter. I’m not moving.


About Frogtosser

A former sailor and pizza maker who is done hiding from the world and is now living life to it's fullest extent. I'm a single speed bicycle commuter who enjoys writing and photography. I'm a voracious reader. And a huge geek!
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One Response to Save Me, San Francisco?

  1. Just my two cents but I agree that you should stay here based on all the reasons you have. If you move to SF, more there because you like art and seafood but not because it’d be possibly more accepting. It would probably seem more accepting but that’d most likely be because you’d be surrounded by the ambivalence of strangers. Friends and family are where the real rejection happens probably. And I’m not convinced that the gay community is any more accepting of transgenders than anyone else.

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