“Your brain is like a sponge”

The ex-girlfriend told me that once. I think it’s because I have a tendency to remember those most obscure things. Some of it, I think can be attributed to a good memory. But, some of it is also the social anxiety.

I can walk down the street, and tell you what exactly the fifteenth person I passed was wearing. From last Thursday. I used to have late night quizzes with the Officer of the Deck while underway when I was in the Navy. We’d be in the middle of nowhere. Calm seas. Not a ship or boat within sight. I had nothing to do, but sit in front of a radar scope, with the chatter of look out’s in my ears. So, I grabbed my grease pencil and write as many world leaders as I possibly could on the glass screen in front of me. It was fun out guessing Naval Academy graduates.

Right now, your thinking this is a benefit. And sometimes it is. But, it’s mostly a curse. Whenever I’m nervous, my brain goes into overdrive. Let’s say I walk into a packed restaurant. I’m already a little shy. And your probably thinking my lack of conversation is because of that shyness. But, it’s not. My attention is elsewhere. I’m busy taking mental images of everything around me. When I’m nervous, I feel threatened. If someone is going to approach me, for any reason, I want to know where they are coming from. I want to know everything about them.When I’m at a table of strangers,  I listen to conversations around me. I think about how I would respond to that question they just answered. I get to know who these people are based on the conversation around me.

I eventually do relax. But, it might take me a few minutes. So, if you ever think I’m just being a little shy. Give me some time. I’ll get there.


About Frogtosser

A former sailor and pizza maker who is done hiding from the world and is now living life to it's fullest extent. I'm a single speed bicycle commuter who enjoys writing and photography. I'm a voracious reader. And a huge geek!
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