I try to speak with my mom at least once a week. I used to have dinner at my parent’s house once a week. But, since I ditched the car last year, it’s harder to get up that way. And I’m just way to busy. So, I try to call to stay in touch. I didn’t mean to tell her I plan on getting a hair cut. It just kind of slipped out.
I had spoken with her either on Monday or Tuesday. But, I wanted to tell her about a new restaurant I went to yesterday she and my step dad might be interested in. So, after we talked about that, I just let it slip.
Me: “I’m going to be getting a haircut next Friday.”
Her: “What does that mean?”
Me: “Well, just a trim.”
Her: “Oh, ok.”
It’s one of those things you end up cursing about after you hang up the phone. Not because my mom is unsupportive. On the contrary, she’s been great. Some of it is my own hang ups. I still have a hard time talking with her about gender stuff. I hid this from her and everyone else for a very long time. It’s not like I can just sit down and have a very open conversation about this once she expresses her support. Also, I don’t want her to worry that I’m going to be getting an uber feminine hair style done. That’s not me. And I’m not really out at work. I just need to do something basic with it.
It’s been maybe 3 years since I went with two girls I used to work with to get my hair trimmed. I’ve been growing it out for maybe 8 years. When I had it trimmed, the lady took 6 inches off and really tidied things up by getting rid of some crazy loose ends that needed to be taken care of. It was the first time I had been in a place that especially caters in women’s hair. She did a great job. But, it’s beyond time to do something about it again.
A trans friend told me that she knew someone who could do something about this rats nest of hair. And she made the arrangements. She’s getting her hair done before mine for a special occasion. I have no idea what I want to do with it. The only thing I know I don’t want to do is cut it short like I had it when I was trying to hide. A friend recently called that hair style “very Republican”. I also don’t want anything that could be misconstrued as being feminine. I’ve been told this lady is very good. And cuts hair for trans women all the time. I was told that even if I don’t know what I want to do, I can trust her. So, that’s what I’m going to do. We’ll see. There’s a part of me that wants to do something wild. Like put streaks of bright color in it. The rebellious side of me, I suppose.
Sidenote: While thinking about the last time it was cut, I remembered two things. A female coworker talked me into taking maybe an inch off my pony tail one night. She didn’t. She took 4 inches off. I was so mad. Also, when I had it cut at the salon, I quickly learned that I shouldn’t look in the mirror after she washed it. I hate looking at my receeding hair line.