The Joke

When riding on summer months, I learned that I needed to do two things. One is to carry plenty of water. The other is to take plenty of breaks. These breaks are usually very boring affairs consisting of reading in a (hopefully) air conditioned building. Sometimes, my little breaks from the road consist of pleasant surprises.


I stopped eating fast food sometime back. A decision I don't regret for one moment. For instance, in the 3 weeks since I quit drinking soda, I've lost over 10lbs. Although, I don't eat there, I realized pretty quick that there are more than enough McDonald's “restaurants” around. What they lack in nutrition, they make for in free wifi and maybe more important, air conditioning. So, I'll occasionally duck into a back booth with my cold water and do things like writing in my blog or perhaps catch up on my reading.


That's what I was doing just now. I was sitting sideways in a booth, book in hand when the elderly woman sitting in the booth next to me got up to leave. She walked past me, placed somethings in a nearby trash can. Then before I knew it, she was sitting on the other side of my table. This woman who probably was in her 80's, didn't even bother looking to see that I had my earbuds in. But, seeing that I had a visitor, I had already had removed one before our eyes met. She leaned forward a little bit and with a serious tone asked if I wanted to hear a story.


Oh, goody. Story time. I sat up and said “Sure!” This is the “story” she told me.


A woman is at the grocery store with her young daughter. The little girl asks “Mom, how old are you?” Mom looks down at her young innocent little daughter and responds “Dear, it's not polite to ask a woman how old she is.” The girl puts her head down and continues to walk down the aisles with her mom. After a few minutes, she looks up again and asks “Mom, how much do you weigh?” Mom stops in her tracks. She looks down with a smile on her face and tells her daughter that it's not nice at all to ask a woman how much she weighs. The little girl is clearly dejected but remains silent for another couple of minutes while her mom weighs some apples. While standing in the check out line, the little girl tries once more. “Mom, how come you and Daddy got a divorce?” Mom is getting a little frustrated by this point. “Now. that's between Me and your Dad.”

When the little girl gets home from the store, she walks across the street to her friends house. “I couldn't get her to answer any of those questions. Her friend said “If you want to know her age or weight, all you have to do is get her driver's license. It's all on there. The little girl is surprised. She immediately hatches a plan to get into her mom's purse while her mom isn't looking. Later on that evening, while mom is getting ready for bed, the little girl walks up to her and announces “Mom, I know how old you are!” Mom replies with an “Oh? So, how did you find that out?” “I looked at your driver's license. It says you are 32 and that your 145 pounds. Although mom was a little mad that she had gotten into her purse, she was pleased that her daughter had the persistence to find the answers. “Oh, and mom? I also found out why Daddy and you divorced.” Oh, mom thought. This should be good. “On your driver's license, it says you got an F in sex.”


At the conclusion of this woman's story, there sitting across from me was a woman laughing so hard, she was nearly in tears. I laughed mostly because she was laughing. I couldn't help but smile and thank her for telling me her story. From there, she stood up and excused herself. I wished her a good day. And soon, she was off. I never got her name. And I'm not entirely sure why she picked me to tell. Maybe, she was lonely and didn't have anyone else to tell. Maybe, out of all the people here, maybe she thought I might enjoy it. Who knows. But, mystery bad joke lady, whoever you are, thank you. 🙂


About Frogtosser

A former sailor and pizza maker who is done hiding from the world and is now living life to it's fullest extent. I'm a single speed bicycle commuter who enjoys writing and photography. I'm a voracious reader. And a huge geek!
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