Did you miss me?
I know I certainly missed writing here. I think I only wrote once during my little hiatus. Looks like I took the advice from my counselor quite seriously. When did I start listening to people? Who am I?
When I finished PTSD counseling, I was told that there would be a two month break from any further counseling. My counselor advised me to try not to think about transition, PTSD or counseling in general. She said “Just take some time off and enjoy life.” I thought that would be easier said than done. After all, there hasn’t been a day of my life since early childhood that I haven’t had gender dysphoria on my mind. But, I had noticed in the weeks leading up to my last appointment, that my anxiety had ebbed.
I left my last appointment like a giant gorilla was off my back. I felt free. I was happy. I felt like my entire life was in front of me. That “high” lasted about two weeks. I don’t want to say that I’ve returned to my normal gloomy outlook on life. PTSD counseling made a tremendous effect on how I see my life going forward. I look at social interaction in a different way. I walked away with new tools to use when life becomes difficult. But, life isn’t suddenly become too easy. I’m not going to kid myself. Life can be very hard. No amount of counseling is going to make that go away. But, I no longer feel like it’s overwhelming.
My friends and family have noticed a change in me. I smile more. I look people in the eye more now instead of looking down. I have a more positive outlook on life.
Now where do I go from here? I have so much too catch up on here on this blog. There is so much I want to tell you all. A lot has been happening. My life is changing. I have four rough drafts of blog posts written. I hope to get them and maybe a few more posted here by the end of the weekend. But, the weekends are when I work most of my hours. So, if I don’t get them up by Sunday night, please understand that. In the meantime, be on the lookout for a long haired girl on a black single speed riding up behind you in downtown Denver traffic. Cuz, I’m back baby!